My Journal of a COVID-19 Year, Day 45: “I’ve got pieces of April, but it’s a morning in May”

I don’t know exactly how this happened, but today is April 30. Maybe it has something to do with all the passing Thisdays. But if I look back to April 10, I see that this was the intended final day of this journal. I don’t know if I really thought that we would be “released” by now (or if I just thought that I was in Georgia), but here we are.

To say that there has been no change in the world or me since early May would not be true. Everywhere you go these days you see signs of busting out. Last weekend huge numbers gathered inappropriately at Orange County beaches, and though they will reinforce beach closures this weekend, I don’t know how much longer they can contain this. As I walk around at night, I often hear gatherings of people behind the closed doors of other condos in my neighborhood. I don’t think these are militant quarantine protesters, rather I think these are ordinary people who can’t stand it any more.

Same with me. On the 10th of April I was in the strictest quarantine of my time. I didn’t go out at all, no shopping, no bicycling, no meeting people in a socially distanced way. There were reasons for this, only some of which I spoke about on April 7, but as time passed my resolutions fell away. Now I’m back to biking and shopping, I’ve even walked with friends. Today I had a black market haircut. I’m still generally careful, but I don’t think I have the will power (or the attention span) to maintain hard core quarantine.

It would have been nice at some point during these 45 days to have been able to say that the quarantine was over and with it the end of these blog posts, but it is clear to me that there won’t be an “over” for many, many more days than I have things to write about. Remember, when I started, I thought this was going to be a two-week thing and that these posts would be a short story of how I spent a drop of my spring, not a dissertation of how the world changed forever.

So to honor both my pledge to be with you through this and my pledge to end with the first of May, beginning this week I will be moving to weekly, rather than daily, posts. I will keep observing and talking about what I see, but without the pressure of a daily deadline. I hope that I still can bring some smiles and comfort in the days and weeks ahead, and I am grateful to those of you who have read these pieces that you have stood beside me during a really shitty March and April.

Be safe, be strong.